Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
