he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
