Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
