OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
