My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
