What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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