i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
