im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
