I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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