There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
