I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
