Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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