remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
