i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
