This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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