Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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