Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
