is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
