You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If I die, sorry about rent.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
