playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
