??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
