You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
