i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize