What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
