I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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