So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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