who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
