Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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