I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Randomize
