id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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