I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
