So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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