The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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