His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
