Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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