hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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