coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
