Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
