hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
