Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
