My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
