Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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