my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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