why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
