What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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