in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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