whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
