9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
