Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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