I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize