Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
