He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
