Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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