Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
