Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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