just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
