So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
