idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
where am i from again
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Panties = found
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
