Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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