Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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