if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my being single is dangerous.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
