it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
